Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Romance Termed Girlish


December 2009
“Crap! What did you say? You bought what?” Suresh asked me while we were traveling in a local train in December. I held my current read – Five Point Someone in one hand and pushed Twilight in my bag, the one I’d read next .


“Twilight” I said, in a low tone, wondering what was wrong with buying Twilight.“


Come on, that’s a novel meant for female readers; not for men!” He shrugged, emphasizing more on the last three words.

“It’s just another novel dude, what does it have to do with one’s gender?” I asked, this time in a high volume, now wondering how it was related to the gender of the reader! I was talking about Twilight, and he reacted as if I had bought a female gossip magazine where the ladies discussed their bedroom and bathroom fantasies.

“You’ll know when you start reading it. It’s girlish!” He detained his thoughts.

“Whatever! It’s a love story, and will have both men and women in it” I hoped.


Thereafter, we never discussed about it – for he knew I wouldn’t discontinue reading Twilight on his discouraging recommendation; and he was right.


March 2010
I lied on bed, reading Twilight, when my brother snatched the book away from me.

“Give it back to me”, I yelled.

“What’re you reading?” He asked, closing the book to see the cover page.

“Aurghhh! Twilight!!!” He yelled, with an expression as if he had smelt rotten eggs.

“What’s wrong with it?” I asked, still lost in the romance of Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan, the lead characters of the best-seller.

“Bro… I’ve read three chapters from this – this story is so girlish.” He too, like Suresh, made a move to discourage me.

“What’s girlish about it? It’s about the love between Bella and Edward; and you know Edward is…” I protested; the anguish in me mixed with the curiosity to find out what exactly is meant by girlish and how is romance related to the term girlish!

“The romance in the story is much girlish…” He swayed the book back in my lap and left the room; I boarded my train of thoughts again to analyze what is meant by Girlish Romance!!!

May 2010
“Hey… Long time man, how are you?” Aneesh called me from his hostel in Pune.

“I am fine, how’re you?” I folded Twilight keeping a finger at the current page to set a bookmark.

"I am fine as well,” he fingered my weak point, “So which one's recent?"

“Twilight” I murmured, hoping he wouldn’t comment on it being girlish!

“I have seen that movie! I can tell you the entire story!” He suggested.

“No, thanks! I prefer finding it on my own; and get some value of my three hundred rupee notes.” I continued. “You know, Suresh and my bro commented it to be a girlish story. I am glad that at least your opinion is different.”

“I don’t disagree with them. I watched the movie only for the sake of my girl.”

This was unnerving. Suresh and Bro had commented without reading Twilight. Aneesh saw the movie and approved of it being girlish.

“What’s girlish about it? And what is meant by girlish at all?” I interrogated, angrily.

“They only gazed at each other and analyzed their behaviors till second half. Most of the time, they’d exchanged glances and eye-talks. It’s so effeminate.” He answered, “And how about the vampires being rational thinkers?”

“What’s masculine?” I asked, geared up for an argument of effeminate versus mannish.

“Something that has pace, action, hunt and haunt!” He replied.

“And rational thinking is effeminate?” I argued, “We can’t do it?”

“You’re impossible!” And then he changed the topic discussing his campus to my corporate life and their pros and cons.

I hung up.

This moment
I am at chapter 21 of 24; there’s a girl, there’s a boy – the romance begun with gazing towards each other, proceeded with eye-contact, gloomed with affection and went on to kisses from forehead to lips. There was sunshine, there was greenery, there were clouds and there were rain. And then, the story twisted to vampires, their hunting practices and warfare.

Is Twilight counted as a Girlish Love Story only because it is narrated from a Girl’s point of view? If that is so, then, I guess that we men really need to work upon our mindset. I have had my female-friends read novels like Two States and I Too Had a Love Story narrated from a Boy’s point of view; and they didn’t make faces at it being mannish, but my male-friends seem to find stories narrated from a Girl’s point of view, indigestible!

I am genuinely perplexed as to what exactly is classified as Girlish Romance, if at all, there’s anything like that.

I always knew Love as Love, there’s a girl, there’s a boy and they both hold for each other a sense of affection that’s unrestricted, spiritual and blissful.

I always knew Romance as Romance, there’s a girl, there’s a boy and there’s love – and Romance happens between both, together!

This is probably my first blog, where I am opening up a forum and awaiting an answer from my reader friends, to a question, as to how be Romance classified as Girlish and Mannish? It’s okay if you’re a Twilight fan, it’s okay if you’re a Twilight critic, it’s okay, if you’re not fond of reading at all – my question is generic – what is Girlish Romance? And if at all, there’s something like that, then what is Mannish Romance?

9 comments:

  1. Your Writing style matching to twilight book......... good adoption

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  2. good one adi...

    As you say there s nothing girlish or mannish.. coz after all love is love.. even if i agree there wud be some one to disagree that love is not biased ...
    I just wana ask ur frnds who said dis and have a girlfrnd.. i believe they love their gf .. which means they have fallen in love.. so ask them how is their love diff frm edward n bella ?? Is their romance mannish.. ?? if yes ask them how ..n wht differentiates it ... from being called as girlish ..

    At the end its abt the views of diff people.. but as far as m concerned love cannot be termed as girlish or mannish.. After sll its love which has characteristics of both girl and a guy ... :-)

    Please note.. this comment has nothing to do with anyone;s personal life.. its just my viewpoint ...

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Thats a 'Food for Thought' for me..
    Good one..Real & new.. But I still believe Romantic Novels are for Girls..and dats coz I havent read one..moreover I don feel comfortable to impersonate myself as a women when its written as a female narrator..Maybe dats the reason..Anyway..was a good one..will try a Romantic Novel once...for sure..Thanks for the blog..

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  5. Hey dude,
    Nice blog....
    I completely agree with you Adi. I dont understand how can we differentiate that the novel/romance is girlish or mannish. Even I have read Twilight, New Moon and currently reading eclipse. I dint find anything girlish in that. Its just becoz the girl is narrating the story and she has shown her emotions and feelings doesnt make the novel girlish. Grow up guys...

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  6. Hi Aditi,

    I guess there are very few men who dont need to prove their masculinity (like u). The ones who need frequently use words like girlish/mannish, feminine/masculine. You have hit the nail.

    I feel sorry for People, who believe that Romance is only got to do with girls. I wonder why they flaunt themseleves as Romantic?

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  7. Ha Ha.. I just love this discussion. Now-a-days, when girls fall in love with girls and boys fall in love with boys, I find the concept of masculinity and femininity in the context of romance a bit outdated.

    I agree with suja, Romance has not got to do with only girls, it has got to do with hearts..and everyone has that.

    Talking about masculinity and femininity, it's all about perception. We generalize things when we say something is girlish. But it doesn't mean only girls should do that. Normally, in earlier days girls used to symbolize softness (both outside and inside) whereas boys used to symbolize toughness (both outside and inside). This is what even mentioned in our mythologies where Women were not allowed to battle fields.

    The concept has changed now. Now-a-days, everyone does everything. We find men who are soft at heart and we find women who are tough.

    Coming back to Twilight, it is a light, sweet romantic story with fantasy, and without violence, adventure and all those so called "masculine" elements. So feminine males and feminine females will like it, masculine males and masculine females won't like it. No offense..

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  8. too good adi........
    tumari writting style to kamal ki hai....

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  9. DO NOT LABEL OTHERS NEITHER YOURSELF.
    AND ENJOY THE COMMENTS OF OTHERS BY
    TAKING THEM ON THE "FEEDBACK TRACK" OF YOUR MIND AND NOT ON THE "EVALUATION TRACK" OF YOUR MIND.
    Feeling nice is a good situation but
    getting better can be a continuous
    process to evolve into a better human being.
    I feel u are bold enough to write a blog and express your feelings.Love is not a noun and does not exist alone.It is a verb and small actions towards the significant people around u expresses it or does not.Whether others call it girlish or boyish u can be assertive saying "I am what I am".Keep blogging

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