Beary Beary Scary

The sun shone blinding bright, yet I stood unblinked. I thought I knew this place; I stood on a green hilltop and on my right hand side was another large hill where three milky streams met together at a cliff, one emerging from the left corner of hilltop, another from the right and one from the center. From the cliff, the intersected streams cascaded down with high velocity in a huge pit causing the waterfall to appear like a milky white trishul on the green hill.

The sunrays added a golden tinge to the tiny droplets that flew with wind from the waterfall to the hill where I stood. As I saw down, I could see I stood on a large green cone whose head was cut off and a mat of lush green lawn was spread across the blunt head. I ran across the circumference of the hilltop to find an edge that I could trace to climb down; but every slope was a steep rocky terrain between the grasses that would make me roll down and bump my head.

I settled on a rock on the circumference with my chin resting in my palm thinking a route to climb down. How on earth, did I land here? Huh, I couldn’t remember!

The sound of wind was deafening. I could feel the moisture the wind brought from the waterfall to the hilltop that I sat on. I couldn’t see a single human who would hear me cry and rescue me. I felt like I could demonstrate the next episode of I Shouldn’t Be Alive on The Discovery Channel.

Suddenly, I could hear some swooshing of footsteps on the grass on the other corner of the hilltop. Did God answer my prayers? Or did he send someone to my rescue? Even in the deafening sound of wind, the sound of his palpitation was loud and clear.

I could see a large black image emerging from behind a huge rock. May be a local tribal man was coming for my rescue.

I blinked twice to believe what I saw. A dark, hairy image ascended on the other corner of the hilltop. I blinked again to clear my vision.

It wasn’t tribe, it wasn’t human; it was a dark black, large bear, an omnivore.

We stared at each other from the opposite corners of the hilltop. We stared, stared and stared for some more time.

I was still trying to think what would look pragmatic when it lifted its frontal legs and roared aloud and began running towards me. The dark brown eyes on its black hairy skull were filled with aggression, grudging, Either Me or You.

“Run”, my subconscious mind commanded me; and I began running.

But, I wasn’t running to escape. I wasn’t running away from the bear. I was running in its direction. It was unreasonable why I ran towards it; did I not know the consequences it would cost?

We stopped on the center of the hilltop, its eyes catching hold of mine.

It stood in a boxing position springing slowly in excitement and its eyes were filled with violence.

I should have been afraid, but, I wasn’t. Instead, I was aggressive.

It punched me on my left cheek and turned to run.

I pulled it forcefully by its fur and that pained its skin. It moaned and vaulted on me, causing bruises on my arm by its teeth.

I growled a large scream, pulled it by its ears, down on the ground and kicked it at the center of its belly.

It lied down, suffocating.

As I was celebrating my victory with a monstrous laugh, it pulled me down on the ground and ran away.

I ran behind it until it reached the circumference. It stood at the circumference with fear filled eyes looking at the steep slope of the rocky hill.

I caught hold of the fur on its back and dragged it on the lawn of the hilltop. I jumped and held its neck. Then, I roared aloud and caught hold of its throat by my oral cavity. My canine teeth buried deep in its throat and I sucked in all the blood from its body.

It cried for a moment and then lied, unmoved.

As its blood reached my taste buds, I realized a familiar sweet milky taste. It tasted like… like milkmaid.

I yelled a victorious scream.

But I could hear another scream. Someone called my name on the top of her voice. Did anyone know me here in the hills? Did a human come to my rescue? And what do I tell them about this bloodless bear that lied like a vegetable besides me?

All of a sudden, there was an earthquake. The hill was shaking, the rocks trembled down the hill and the waterfall quavered.

It was my mom, quivering me, to wake me up and get out of bed to begin my day.

For the first time in my life, I ate chapatis with milkmaid in my breakfast and left for office… And I bet; the milkmaid tastes just like the breakfast I had on the hilltop...

Romance Termed Girlish

December 2009
“Crap! What did you say? You bought what?” Suresh asked me while we were traveling in a local train in December. I held my current read – Five Point Someone in one hand and pushed Twilight in my bag, the one I’d read next .

“Twilight” I said, in a low tone, wondering what was wrong with buying Twilight.“

Come on, that’s a novel meant for female readers; not for men!” He shrugged, emphasizing more on the last three words.

“It’s just another novel dude, what does it have to do with one’s gender?” I asked, this time in a high volume, now wondering how it was related to the gender of the reader! I was talking about Twilight, and he reacted as if I had bought a female gossip magazine where the ladies discussed their bedroom and bathroom fantasies.

“You’ll know when you start reading it. It’s girlish!” He detained his thoughts.

“Whatever! It’s a love story, and will have both men and women in it” I hoped.

Thereafter, we never discussed about it – for he knew I wouldn’t discontinue reading Twilight on his discouraging recommendation; and he was right.

March 2010
I lied on bed, reading Twilight, when my brother snatched the book away from me.

“Give it back to me”, I yelled.

“What’re you reading?” He asked, closing the book to see the cover page.

“Aurghhh! Twilight!!!” He yelled, with an expression as if he had smelt rotten eggs.

“What’s wrong with it?” I asked, still lost in the romance of Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan, the lead characters of the best-seller.

“Bro… I’ve read three chapters from this – this story is so girlish.” He too, like Suresh, made a move to discourage me.

“What’s girlish about it? It’s about the love between Bella and Edward; and you know Edward is…” I protested; the anguish in me mixed with the curiosity to find out what exactly is meant by girlish and how is romance related to the term girlish!

“The romance in the story is much girlish…” He swayed the book back in my lap and left the room; I boarded my train of thoughts again to analyze what is meant by Girlish Romance!!!

May 2010
“Hey… Long time man, how are you?” Aneesh called me from his hostel in Pune.

“I am fine, how’re you?” I folded Twilight keeping a finger at the current page to set a bookmark.

"I am fine as well,” he fingered my weak point, “So which one's recent?"

“Twilight” I murmured, hoping he wouldn’t comment on it being girlish!

“I have seen that movie! I can tell you the entire story!” He suggested.

“No, thanks! I prefer finding it on my own; and get some value of my three hundred rupee notes.” I continued. “You know, Suresh and my bro commented it to be a girlish story. I am glad that at least your opinion is different.”

“I don’t disagree with them. I watched the movie only for the sake of my girl.”

This was unnerving. Suresh and Bro had commented without reading Twilight. Aneesh saw the movie and approved of it being girlish.

“What’s girlish about it? And what is meant by girlish at all?” I interrogated, angrily.

“They only gazed at each other and analyzed their behaviors till second half. Most of the time, they’d exchanged glances and eye-talks. It’s so effeminate.” He answered, “And how about the vampires being rational thinkers?”

“What’s masculine?” I asked, geared up for an argument of effeminate versus mannish.

“Something that has pace, action, hunt and haunt!” He replied.

“And rational thinking is effeminate?” I argued, “We can’t do it?”

“You’re impossible!” And then he changed the topic discussing his campus to my corporate life and their pros and cons.

I hung up.

This moment
I am at chapter 21 of 24; there’s a girl, there’s a boy – the romance begun with gazing towards each other, proceeded with eye-contact, gloomed with affection and went on to kisses from forehead to lips. There was sunshine, there was greenery, there were clouds and there were rain. And then, the story twisted to vampires, their hunting practices and warfare.

Is Twilight counted as a Girlish Love Story only because it is narrated from a Girl’s point of view? If that is so, then, I guess that we men really need to work upon our mindset. I have had my female-friends read novels like Two States and I Too Had a Love Story narrated from a Boy’s point of view; and they didn’t make faces at it being mannish, but my male-friends seem to find stories narrated from a Girl’s point of view, indigestible!

I am genuinely perplexed as to what exactly is classified as Girlish Romance, if at all, there’s anything like that.

I always knew Love as Love, there’s a girl, there’s a boy and they both hold for each other a sense of affection that’s unrestricted, spiritual and blissful.

I always knew Romance as Romance, there’s a girl, there’s a boy and there’s love – and Romance happens between both, together!

This is probably my first blog, where I am opening up a forum and awaiting an answer from my reader friends, to a question, as to how be Romance classified as Girlish and Mannish? It’s okay if you’re a Twilight fan, it’s okay if you’re a Twilight critic, it’s okay, if you’re not fond of reading at all – my question is generic – what is Girlish Romance? And if at all, there’s something like that, then what is Mannish Romance?